JORGE RODRIGUES SIMAO

A scorpion, who wants to get across a pond, spots a friendly frog. The scorpion says to the frog, "How about a lift to the other side of the pond? I can't swim and I would appreciate your helping me out." The frog replies, "No way. I know what scorpions are like. You promised not to sting me one time in the past when I gave you a lift.  Yet you didn't keep your commitment and stung me. I almost died. This time you'll probably sting me halfway across the pond, from where I won't be able to swim to shore. I don't want to drown." The scorpion counters, "Don't be silly. If I am on your back, I am dependent on you to get across the pond. If I sting you, I will drown too.

Why would I want to do that?" The frog thinks a bit and relents: "I guess you're right. Hop on."

The scorpion climbs on the frog's back and they take off for the other side of the pond.

Halfway across, the scorpion gives the frog a big whopper of a sting.

As both of them start to go under, the frog says to the scorpion, "Why in the world did you do that? Why didn't you keep your commitment not to sting me? Now both of us are going to die."

The scorpion's answer is one you have heard many times before from human scorpions: "I couldn't resist it. It's just my nature to be that way."

The lesson here is that if someone has failed to keep a commitment with you in the past, there is a 95 percent chance that he or she will fail to keep a commitment with you again in the future.

This is a hard lesson for most of us to learn. In fact, many of us keep relearning this lesson throughout our entire lives.

You will notice that people who back out of business deals or social commitments tend to do it again and again and again.

This behavior is best explained by two phenomena previously discussed - people are only human and people seldom change.

Human nature is such that even if people have apologized for a past transgression, and promised that they wouldn't do it again, they will likely do it again.

You have to decide what is the best way to respond to people who don't keep commitments.

Incidentally, the 95 percent chance that they will do it again applies even when they have offered an apology without your asking for one.

When you have demanded an apology, and they have complied, then there is a 99 percent chance they will do it again.

These are the same odds as when they haven't apologized.

The reason is that an apology demanded under some threat - such as you will terminate your friendship or business relationship if they don't apologize - is a form of blackmail.

Put another way, an apology demanded from another person using some form of threat is never a true apology.

The person may apologize for the transgression - but the apology is false.

Fact is, a true apology - one that means something and comes from the heart - is made by a person without anyone else demanding it.

Personally, I refrain from dealing with people who regularly cop out of business or social commitments - whether or not they apologize.

I don't need the hassles and aggravation.

Whenever people continue to fail to show up for meetings, I don't contact them again.

If they call to apologize with a good reason, I give them one more chance, and possibly two chances - but three strikes and they are out.

By following this principle, without any exceptions, I end up with a few quality people who are good at keeping commitments.

In short, if a person has let you down before, be on guard when he tells you he will come through on another occasion.

Whether it's a business deal or a social engagement, no matter how enticing and promising, it's best to focus your interests elsewhere.

Otherwise, you will find out the hard way that the first transgression was no accident.

In fact, if you hang around him long enough, chances are fairly high that he will outdo his previous transgression with something so much worse that it makes the previous one seem insignificant.

As the old saying goes, "The person who steals an egg from his farmer friend will eventually steal the chicken as well."